Being Thankful in a Culture of Complaining

Riding the Rapids: Being Thankful in a Culture of Complaining

Col. 3:1-4, 12-17

We've been looking at some of the hot button issues that we face today, particularly in America, and with Thanksgiving coming up, I thought we'd look at the importance of being thankful in a culture that everyday seems to be finding new things to complain about.

I love this country a lot and I think that Americans have a lot of really great qualities, but I am concerned that there is a culture of complaining gaining a greater foothold in our country. A Christian man from India who was asked for his honest opinion about Americans said, “you have no idea how much you have and yet you always complain.” I read an article from a British bloke that was titled, How to Complain Like an American. After spending time in NY he was proud of himself because he was trading in his British stiff upper lip for a whiny, quivering lower lip. I'm exaggerating, but he was proud that he was learning to complain like a NY'er.

These days we don't have to limit our complaints to one on one interactions. We can reach a lot of people with our complaints just by posting them on fb, although fb complaining has become so prevalent that it's gotten old. Now it's trendy to complain on fb about people who complain on fb. We can turn a simple shopping trip to Wal-Mart into a gripe fest simply by plastering our cars with bumper stickers that proclaim our complaints to anyone unfortunate enough to get stuck behind us. Here are a few:

• I hate Mondays

• Life sucks, and then you die

• Same stuff, different day (I cleaned it up a little)

• Take this job and shove it

A truly proficient complainer can parry and counter any positive statement with a complaint. Take the weather - no matter how glorious the weather is, an advanced complainer can find a way to rain on your parade. You say, "what a beautiful day", they counter with "yeah, but it's supposed to rain tomorrow." You mention that the weather's supposed to be beautiful all week long, they'll predict "yeah, but next week's gonna be brutal!" Make an observation about what an amazing fall we've had, they'll predict that we're gonna pay for it this winter. No matter how beautiful the weather is, the complainer knows that God is going to slip in a cold or rainy or humid day someday soon!

I know that with all that's going on right now, complaining and thankfulness might seem to be lightweight issues compared to the tinderbox that our world has become. But unthankfulness is an important step down the path of the deteriorating human condition. Rom. 1: 18, 21 says For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth…[21] For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. (Romans 1:18-21 ESV)

Refusing to give thanks to God or honor Him leads to the darkening of hearts and thinking. What Paul is saying in Col. 3 is that when we are saved by the Lord Jesus Christ and raised into newness of life by the power of his resurrected life, our lives should be marked by thankfulness. In a passage that calls us to put on Christ, he calls us to be thankful three times in three verses. I want to share three points from these three verses about how a growing heart of thankfulness should mark our lives as Christians and how we can be thankful in a culture of complaining.

1. Being thankful is a choice (vs. 15)

I love how directly and simply verse 15 ends: And be thankful. It's the equivalent of Nike's Just do it! Thankfulness isn't something we get by getting things, it's something we get by choosing to focus on all we have to be thankful for. Having more to be thankful for doesn't translate to being more thankful. That person driving the car with the "Life sucks. And then you die." bumper sticker probably has more than 3/4 of the world will ever have. Life sucks for them means they have a 42' TV when all their friends have 72" screens. They'd have a hard time trying to convince an orphan in Kenya, or a widow in Syria that their life sucks. Let's be honest, what sucks isn't their life, it's their attitude!

But listen, I may not have a complaining bumper sticker plastered on my car, but sometimes I have one plastered on my heart. God has been very, very good to me, but far too often I focus on what I don't have, or wish I didn't have, or some other thing I wish were different than what it is, and my heart grumbles and complains. At those times I need to hear Paul's simple exhortation: and be thankful!

At the root of complaining is the belief that God hasn't been good to us. To the complaining heart, thankfulness is always a moving target. I would be thankful for the beautiful day today if I didn't have tomorrow's lousy forecast hanging over me. I'd be thankful for this great week, except I know I'm in for a terrible week next week. See, thankfulness is always a moving target because contentment is always a moving target. It reminds me of an amazing poem that 14 year old Jason Lehman wrote:

It was spring - but it was summer I wanted; the warm days and the great outdoors.

It was summer - but it was fall I wanted; the colorful leaves and the cool dry air.

It was fall - but it was winter I wanted; the beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season.

It was now winter - but it was spring I wanted; the warmth and the blossoming of nature.

I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted; the freedom and the respect.

I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted; to be mature and sophisticated.

I was middle-aged but it was twenty I wanted; the youth and the free spirit.

I was retired but it was middle-age that I wanted; the presence of mind without limitations.

My life was over but I never got what I wanted.

This convicts me - it portrays someone who never got what they wanted because what they wanted was always whatever they didn't have. So Paul grabs our face and says, "hey! Set your minds and hearts on Christ and all that you have right now because of Christ and all the hope your future holds because of what Christ has done. Set your heart and minds on all that…And be thankful! Right now, right here, be thankful!" Being thankful is a choice!

2. Being thankful flows from a heart that is filled with Christ (vs. 16)

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…

Paul says almost the exact same thing in Eph. 5 except instead of the word of Christ dwelling in us, he says be filled with the Spirit. It means the same thing: the word of Christ filling us, the Holy Spirit filling us, means that through the word and through the Spirit, Christ himself dwells in our hearts.

The basis of our thankfulness isn't ultimately how much material blessings we have, or how smoothly life goes, or our personal happiness and well being. The strong foundation for our thankfulness is the eternal gift of Jesus Christ in saving us. Knowing that our lives are hidden with Christ in God. And that when Christ, who is our life, appears we will also appear with him in glory. Think about that. If Christ is your Savior, you are saved and have eternal life in his glorious kingdom to look forward. Christ's word working by the power of the Spirit fills our hearts with hope that leads to thankfulness.

It's because of this eternal and unshakable hope Paul can say in 1 Thess. 5:18: Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Paul doesn't say give thanks for every circumstance, but in every circumstance. Because the worst of circumstances can't define or destroy our lives or our eternal hope. If I die, if you die, our lives and our hope still goes on, brighter than ever, because we'll be with Jesus forever! The more our hearts are truly filled with the hope of heaven and the more we long to be with Jesus in his eternal kingdom, the more our hearts will spill thankfulness no matter what is going on in our lives.

Does being thankful mean we can’t be honest about our problems?

But that can raise a question: does being thankful mean we can't be honest about our problems? Or our frustrations? Or things we want to happen or long to see in our lives? Is it always complaining to express dislike for the way something is going? Is it always complaining to share honestly when we're hurting?

God wants us to be honest, with Him and with each other. I think the psalms gives us some direction in this. Many of the psalms are downright gritty in their honesty with God and more than a third of the psalms are called laments, which is basically complaints.

With my voice I cry out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord.
I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him.” Ps. 142:1-2

In the psalms, the writers pour out sorrow and grief (Ps. 137), anger towards enemies (Ps. 140), weariness and fear (Ps. 69), physical and spiritual pain (Ps. 102), depression (Ps. 88) and so many other raw, unfiltered emotions. Then they turned them into songs so the whole assembly could lift their voices in complaint to God.

So what gives? Are we not to complain or is there a way we are to complain? Can we be thankful and still honest about where we're at? The psalmist shares honestly with God what's going on in their lives: they're being attacked, they're discouraged, they're weary, they're frustrated with God's timing (how long, O Lord?). But in the end they trust in the Lord. And frequently those same psalms express thankfulness for all the Lord has done and for what they know He will do on their behalf. Thankfulness isn't pasted on as an obligation, it comes from a genuine faith that in the end, God will be proven to be faithful and good.

God cares about where you're at. He cares about how you feel. Being thankful isn't contradictory to being honest about how we're doing. Think of it like good and bad cholesterol: there's good complaining and there's bad complaining. Good complaining unloads our hearts to God and to people we know love us and want to help shoulder the load. Bad complaining murmurs and grumbles and focuses on the negative exclusively without ever turning towards God in faith.

Paul doesn't just say "and be thankful" and leave it there. As Christ fills our hearts and the promises of all he accomplished for us and has in store for us, thankfulness will rise, even as we honestly deal with all the other emotions. So we can tell God about our sadness to God and thank Him that He will be with us in our sadness and that we know it won't last forever. We can bring God into our pain when we've been wounded and thank Him that He cares about our pain. We can tell God that we're angry, confused, or frustrated and not fear that God can't handle hearing it. This week someone mentioned that after a series of trials that ended with yet another trial, she was trusting God but she did roll her eyes at Him. Like, God, did I really need this now? God can handle that - He's not emotionally fragile. We can and should honestly express our hearts to God. But how thankful we can be that our identity isn't found in our anger, confusion, or frustration, our identity is found in Christ. And as we set our thoughts and our affections on Christ, thankfulness will flow from us. Because he is so good and awesome!!

3. Being thankful becomes the expression of a life lived for the glory of Christ (vs. 17)

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (vs. 17)

This doesn't necessarily change what we do, but it changes why we do what we do. A complaining heart (bad complaining) is centered on itself and accuses God of not being good. We want to advertise, like a bumper sticker, that God hasn't been good and hasn't given us what we deserve. The complaining heart wants to give God anti-glory - to tear Him down in the eyes of others. There is a strange pleasure we derive from complaining that God hasn't given us what we think we deserve.

Being thankful reorders our lives so that we want, more than anything else, for God to get glory from our lives. Thanksgiving rises to say, "God is good, and God has been good to me!" The message of our lives isn't "I deserve better than God's given." The message of our lives is "God's given so much better than I deserve. To God be the glory!" We not only long to see Jesus' name lifted up, we long for our lives to be used by God to lift Jesus' name up. That our lives play even a small a part in helping others love and glorify Jesus. We want to live for the glory of Christ.

Complaining, at least in my heart, comes from a heart that wants life to be easy, hassle free, comfortable. I want more stuff I like and less stuff I don't like. But God knows such a life might be nice, but it won't be rich. He has created us to live for more than easy. More than hassle free. He's called us to live for the glory of God and the glory of His Son.

As I was working yesterday on this last point I was listening to Watermark and their song Knees to the Earth came on. The words have to do with Jesus being glorified and treasured. Oddly enough, as I was finishing up this last point this morning, and had Pandora on the Sovereign Grace station, this same song came on. What are the odds of that? Made me think the Lord wanted this message to resonate in thankful hearts this morning. The verse and chorus goes:

Wonderful Savior, my heart belongs to Thee
I will remember always the blood You shed for me
Wonderful Savior, my heart will know Your worth
So I will embrace You always as I walk this earth

Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high
Be treasured here, be glorified
I owe my life to You, my Lord
Here I am

Here I am. We live to glorify Jesus, to advertise what a great Savior he is, to see him treasured more by others because of our lives. And that God has given us the opportunity to do that is cause for thanksgiving.

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (vs. 17)

If you don't know Jesus as your Savior, I want to invite you to come to him by faith with your complaints, your wounds and your sin, and ask him to come into your life, forgive you of your sin and heal your wounds, lift your burdens, and repair your broken world. Let's pray together, and if that expresses the desire of your heart this morning, please pray with me.