Going From Victim to Victor

Highlights from 1 Samuel

Allen Snapp

Grace Community Church

Sept. 17, 2023

Going From Victim to Victor

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If you have your Bible turn with me to 2 Sam chapter 1. One day I hope to go through the book of 2 Samuel but this morning we’re just looking at chapter one so as to close the loop on the story of David and Saul. 1^st and 2^nd Samuel were written as one book but due to their length they were separated into two books.

We read last week how Saul tragically died on the battlefield, mortally wounded by a Philistine arrow and then falling on his own sword to end his life before the Philistines can mistreat and abuse him. In 2 Samuel we find out even that didn’t do the job and Saul, with his own sword run through him is still alive and calls out to a young Amalekite to finish the job which he does and he brings Saul’s crown to David.

I’m calling this message From Victim to Victor.

David was a victim of Saul’s jealous persecution. For ten years the king of Israel has been obsessed with killing David. I imagine that alone can do a number on someone’s mental health! Saul accused and slandered David and turned the men who had once fought alongside David against him. David went from a place of honor and prestige in the kingdom to a fugitive running from cave to cave. Saul even took David’s wife, Saul’s daughter, Michal and gave her to another man. Saul did everything he could to hurt David.

If anyone can claim PTSD, David can! But now in 2 Sam. Chapter 1 he is the victor. God has fulfilled His promise and has taken the kingdom away from Saul and given it to David. The path to the throne is wide open, it’s just a matter of time now. David went from the victim of Saul to the victor over Saul…

Just between us, let’s be brutally honest. Have you ever had someone treat you badly, speak ill of you, or hurt you in some way and secretly you’ve wanted to see them get theirs? There’s a sense where vindication feels like winning – know what I mean?

I remember many years ago when a church I was pastoring was going through a difficult time, a member – I’ll call him Bill – told me God had given him a prophetic word that the difficulties the church was facing was because I was in disobedience to God and He had turned His face against me. The evidence he gave was that the church van I was driving got a flat tire right in the middle of a downpour. God was trying to give me a sign he said. I found it interesting that he drove by and saw me changing a flat in the rain and didn’t stop and offer to help. But it shook me. The hardest part was that he accused me of evil motives.

I kid you not, less than a week later this man’s wife left him and he got fired from his job within a day of each other. I felt bad to hear it, but honestly, I felt a bit vindicated too. It felt a little like, in a tug of war over who God was blessing and who He was opposing, I won!

I’ll come back to that story but c’mon, we’ve all felt that desire to be vindicated – to win - to some degree. Imagine how David must have felt – he won!! The man trying to kill him died a pathetic death. The throne was his! He won! From victim to victor!

Except that’s not at all how David felt and that’s not at all what I mean by the title from victim to victor. Let’s read David’s response to the news that Saul was dead.

¹⁷ And David lamented with this lamentation over Saul and Jonathan his son, ¹⁸ and he said it should be taught to the people of Judah; behold, it is written in the Book of Jashar. He said:

¹⁹ “Your glory, O Israel, is slain on your high places! How the mighty have fallen!
²⁰ Tell it not in Gath, publish it not in the streets of Ashkelon, lest the daughters of the Philistines rejoice, lest the daughters of the uncircumcised exult.

²¹ “You mountains of Gilboa,let there be no dew or rain upon you,nor fields of offerings! For there the shield of the mighty was defiled,the shield of Saul, not anointed with oil.

²² “From the blood of the slain,from the fat of the mighty, the bow of Jonathan turned not back, and the sword of Saul returned not empty. ²³ “Saul and Jonathan, beloved and lovely! In life and in death they were not divided; they were swifter than eagles; they were stronger than lions. ²⁴ “You daughters of Israel, weep over Saul,who clothed you luxuriously in scarlet,who put ornaments of gold on your apparel.

²⁵ “How the mighty have fallenin the midst of the battle!

“Jonathan lies slain on your high places. ²⁶I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan;
very pleasant have you been to me; your love to me was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women. ²⁷ “How the mighty have fallen, and the weapons of war perished!” 2 Sam. 1:17-27

David wasn’t jubilant over Saul’s death, he was broken-hearted. He didn’t think “I won!” he thought “Israel lost a great king!” What’s going on here? How do we square Saul’s evil actions (and the Bible describes them as evil) and David’s lavish praise?

I’m going to try and be very careful here because relationships and situations are unique

and can be quite complicated, and I don’t want to paint with such a broad brush that it puts a vulnerable person in a more vulnerable position. There are real victims in life and God calls us to protect the vulnerable, defend the oppressed, heal the wounded, and comfort the broken-hearted. We never want to revictimize someone by downplaying their pain, telling them to “just get over it” or protecting the perpetrator of that hurt.

But one of the ways we go from victim to victor with God’s help is by refusing to make victimhood our permanent address. By refusing a permanent label “victim” when Jesus has made us more than conquerors. By refusing to get stuck in angry, bitter, vengeful thoughts about the other person. By refusing to rejoice in dragging that person’s reputation through the mud and by refusing to want to hurt them back for hurting us. By refusing to see “winning” in terms of the other person “losing”.

1. David honored the memory of the man who hounded him

David writes a lament for Saul and Jonathan and he wants this lament to be taught to all of Israel. If David had been an insecure leader he would’ve tried to help Israel forget Saul as quickly as possible and downplayed any positive things about Saul, but instead he wants them to remember, lament, and honor the man who hounded him.

David also wants to guard Saul’s name by not letting this news to fall into the wrong hands. He says don’t let this news be published in the Philistine towns of Gath or Askelon where the Philistines will gloat over Saul’s demise.

This desire to honor Saul tells us a lot more about David than it does about Saul. Saul dragged David’s name through the mud. He would have been just as happy if the Philistines killed David as his own army – in fact he tried to set David up to be killed by the Philistines. David wasn’t returning honor that Saul had given him, just the opposite, he honored the man who hounded him.

Some people enjoy hurting other people’s reputation. They get satisfaction from gossiping. If you’re the victim of gossip, remember that says more about them than it does about you. It says more about their character than it says about yours. Probably it comes from an insecurity about themselves, and they feel bigger when they make someone else feel smaller.

Pay to all what is owed to them…respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed. Romans 13:7

David didn’t lie or exaggerate – Saul was worthy of some honor. Find something in that person you can honor and emphasize that, even if it’s just in your own mind. There are people so bad they aren’t worthy of any honor. Some creeps don’t deserve any honor.

Don’t pay what’s not owed. But let God give you a heart that bends towards honoring others rather than dishonoring them. It’s a big step towards going from victim to victor.

This is NOT to condemn you to silence if you’re going through a rough relational situation. Injustice thrives in darkness. Abusers love to control information so their sin is never exposed and their victim is never able to get help. Get help! If you’re in an abusive relationship, get help. Seek counsel. Find a trusted friend or counselor or group of friends. I don’t believe that sharing your heart and hurt with a small circle of trusted friends is gossip or wrong. It’s necessary as a support. David has his trusted friends who were willing to fight and die for him. David was honest with Saul, forcefully and publicly confronting Saul on more than one occasion. But his motive in that was to help resolve their issues and initiate healthy change, not to hurt Saul.

And when the threat was removed, David had no desire to drag Saul’s rep through the mud, he honored his memory instead.

2. David put Saul in the best light possible

David knew Saul’s flaws and weaknesses better than anyone, but he doesn’t raise them in this song. He puts Saul in the best light possible. Saul was mighty and brave, beloved and lovely. How mighty are the fallen!

I once heard it said that people are like paintings – we should try to put them in the best light possible. That is not what’s trending in social media. People are condemned and canceled if they make one wrong move or say one wrong thing.

A couple months ago a woman freaked out on an airplane, shouting that the person in the seat next to her wasn’t real and she wasn’t going to fly on the plane and die. When they took her off the flight into the airport, she told the police the plane was going to blow up, it wouldn’t make it to its destination. I’d really like to know who was sitting next to her but the point is her freak out was captured on video.

A couple weeks later she apologized to everyone on that flight and admitted she deserved the nickname “crazy plane lady”. She says “we all have our bad moments. Mine was caught on camera for all the world to see multiple times.”

It’s been said that none of us want to be remembered for our worst moments. The truth is none of us are as bad as our worst moments or as good as our best moments. There’s a grace to trying to put others in the best light possible. So let me circle back to my story about “Bill” who I left in a bad light. I think it was maybe a year later and my family had moved out of state when I got an email from Bill asking me to forgive him for his unkind words. He took the initiative to humble himself and reach out. It meant a lot and I gladly wrote back and forgave him. The truth is I contributed my share of foolishness and mistakes to the conflict that was going on in the church.

In this song, David remembers Saul for his best moments and forgets his worst moments. God would do that for David years later when He would call David a “man after His own heart”. God, are you talking about the man who committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered her husband to cover his sin? Yeah, that’s who God is talking about. God is honest about the worst moments but He puts David in the best possible light.

Jesus said in John 3 that he didn’t come to condemn the world (cast us in the worst -and true- light) but to save the world. Jesus died to cleanse us of our sin and give us his righteousness. The Bible promises that when we place our trust in Jesus Christ as our Savior, God doesn’t see our sin, He sees the righteousness of Christ. God sent His Son to cover over our sin with Jesus’ blood so that He could remember our sin no more and then Eph. 2 says He puts us on display as “trophies of His grace.”

As much as is possible, let’s try to give that same grace to one another.

Doing these things may not change that person, but it frees us from being stuck in victimhood. Being stuck in the “how could they do that to me?” loop. It frees us to give the grace we have freely received – whether that person accepts it or not.

To close the loop on the story: Saul started out so well, but sadly he disobeyed God and compounded his sin with more sin until his life ended in sad wreckage. But brave men honored Saul’s memory enough to risk their lives and recover his body from the Philistines and David honored him enough to have all of Israel mourn and honor the man who had been their first king.

Through his faith in God and his grace towards Saul, even when David was a victim he was a victor and God wants to empower us to be victors in life as well.